I often share this word to people I meet in my life that ‘your singleness is a gift, make good use of it until your next GIFT comes along’. Some people find it tough to stay single and constantly needs a partner with them while some are busy chasing their dreams and maximize this moment to first love themselves. But the question is, how can one stay single and still find happiness from within?
I’ve been thinking lately that the time we have, to stay single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone. But how good is being alone do we really want to be? Isn’t there a danger that you’ll get so good at being single, so set in the ways that you’ll miss out on the chance to be with somebody great?
Here are 7 reasons to stay single and be happier with yourself.
- Being single gives you time to be by yourself, with yourself.
This is the time to reconnect with yourself, a time where you can talk to yourself, debating all the questions and answers that are bouncing in your head. This is the time of reflection and a time of acceptance and letting go, which brings me to the second point…
- If you don’t let go of the past, you will never appreciate the present.
Yes, cherish your memories of your exes, but leave them in the past. I once read a quote saying ‘the past is a good place to visit, but not a good place to stay’ so stop clinging to your past and let it go. Live for today and plan for tomorrow. That means creating new experiences and adventures for today!
- Don’t wait to be in a relationship to pursue your life goals
How would being in a happy relationship change your life? Maybe you’d carry yourself with less shame. Maybe you’d give yourself permission to relax. Maybe you’d stop getting eyelash extensions. Whatever those behaviors are, start doing those things now. You don’t need someone to validate you to pursue your goals. You are your biggest success!
- Rely on yourself. Do things alone.
This sounds obvious, I know, but a lot of people are afraid to do things by themselves. Go to the movies. Have a meal. Go shopping. It’s going to be okay…I promise you will survive.
It’s weird at first. But once the weirdness washes away, it becomes freedom that you don’t often have. You get to be on your own schedule and have the chance to spend as much time as you want to do whatever it is that you want to do — all while being in a new place. Explore your invasion.
- Fail big, make mistakes.
Live your life, regardless of whether or not you are part of a couple. You will undoubtedly screw up at times, but it’s okay to live your life for you. You shouldn’t have to wait for another person to be able to make moves. Take yourself out on Valentine’s Day or go out for drinks with friends. Try out something new. If it doesn’t work out it’s still an experience to learn from, after all, life is a great wheel of lessons and experience – the good and bad.
- Learn to feel.
This is another obvious one but it’s very necessary too. Don’t let feelings build up. Are you disappointed, angry, sad, jealous, or excited? Whatever it is, acknowledge it. Decide what it means and what you’re going to do with this knowledge. Is it a hopelessly single night? Do you want to cry about it? Do it. It’s okay and you’ll likely feel better afterward.
Some people take baby steps to settle down. Some people refuse to settle at all. Sometimes, it’s not statistics. It’s just chemistry. And sometimes just because a relationship is over, that doesn’t mean the love ends.
The thing about being single is, you should cherish it. Because in a week, or a lifetime of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment, when you are not tied up in a relationship with anyone. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment, when you stand on your own, really truly single. And then, it’s gone.
Don’t be afraid to be single. Use this time of your singleness to develop yourself into the type of person you want to be. Learn who you are without relying on another person to complete you. Because if you can’t stand to be alone with yourself, why should someone else be expected to?